Obama Adds New Weapon to Arsenal

In a move calculated to shore up America’s future military arsenal world-wide, President Barack Obama has committed a substantial portion of the 2012 defense budget to the production of the marshmallow cannon, demonstrated yesterday at the White House by its 14 year-old inventor.  The intended use for the weapon is unclear, but experts in the Defense Department expect that it will be deployed in the immediate future to quell peaceful demonstrations and Tea Party gatherings throughout the nation prior to the November election.  After the device was used to attack the curtains in the room, the president and his new billionaire friend were seen on the White House roof, launching marshmallows at gaping tourists.  ”It’s awesome,” said President Obama.  ”This is yet another demonstration of American ingenuity that will produce jobs for Americans in our time of crisis.”

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