An Interview with Max

An interview with Max Masterson, the Next President of the United States of America.

Interviewer:  Max, I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for taking time away from your  political career to discuss your philosophy of politics.

Max:  “Thank you for inviting me on your show, but I’m not a politician.”

Interviewer:  “I’m sorry, I thought you were the next president of the United States.  Isn’t that the most political position in America?”

Max:  “Could be, but it doesn’t have to be.”

Interviewer:  “What do you mean?  I thought, and I’m certain that most of our listeners think the same, that the president is the top politician in this country, and they all aspire to attain that position.”

Max:  “I’m the next president of the United States, and I’m not a politician, and you’re just going to have to wrap your mind around that idea while I explain what I mean.  I need to warn you, though, I’ve tried to explain this to plenty of politicians, and they just don’t get it.”

Interviewer:  “I’m sure the American people are anxious to hear what you have to say.”

Max:  “Well, they have been pretty interested so far.  Listen, I don’t make this stuff up just to confuse people.  I’m trying to help out in the best way I know.  Since I was a little kid, my Dad raised me to be president, and it’s the only thing I know how to do.”

Interviewer:  “Your father was Senator John Masterson, a no-nonsense champion of the rights of Americans.  He raised you to be a politician?”

Max:  “No, he raised me, trained me every day of my life, to be president, but not to be a politician.  Becoming the next president is a higher calling than politics.”

Interviewer:  “Now I’m really confused.  I read in your bio that you aren’t a member of any political party, you’re not a liberal, you’re not a conservative, just what are you, Max Masterson?”

Max:  “I’m the next president of the United States.  Let me explain.  Politicians run for public office, and they hide behind ideological badges.  They call themselves liberal to get elected in districts that are composed of voters that are mainly…liberals.  They call themselves conservative to get themselves elected in districts that are mainly…conservative.  The same holds true for Republicans and Democrats.  So they hide behind these ideologies, and from the shelter of this common identity, they get themselves elected to public office.”

Interviewer:  “So how are you different, Max?  If you aren’t liberal or conservative, where do you stand on the issues?”

Max:  “Let me talk about issues for a minute.  Until politicians created issues for us to focus upon, where would the American people stand on global warming, or illegal immigration, the budget deficit, or obscure issues like NAFTA?”

Interviewer:  “What do you mean, the politicians created the issues?”

Max:  “Here’s a real mind-bender for you.  The perception of reality is more important than reality.  By getting the voters to focus on issues that they created, politicians obscure the fact that in reality, they can’t do anything about most of the problems that we are confronted with.  Global warming is merely a description of the changes to our planet that are caused in small part by our population, but one volcanic eruption is enough to wipe out all of our efforts to stop that change.  But we talk about it, and spend money to keep it from happening, but we can’t do anything about it.”

Interviewer:  “Well, what about illegal immigration?  Isn’t that a real issue?”

Max:  “The politician’s remedy was to spend billions of dollars of our money to build a fence along the entire southern border.  Did it solve the problem?”

Interviewer:  “I see what you mean.  Politicians seem to be throwing taxpayer money at problems, but not solving anything.”

Max:  “As your next president, I will propose solutions to the hard problems America is facing, and I’ll be pointing out the issues that politicians create to distract you from those hard problems.”

Interviewer:  “You must not be well-liked by Washington politicians.”

Max:  (Laughs heartily.)  “As soon as I started talking about political smoke-screens, they first tried to silence me, then they tried to discredit me, and then they tried to kill me.  My Dad warned me about it before he died, but I didn’t think they would do that to a person who spoke the truth.  I was wrong, and he was spot on.  Politicians don’t like it when you call them at their game.”

Interviewer:  “Let’s get back to your original premise.  What are the hard problems facing us as a country?”Max:  “Go to the core.  If you wake up hungry or sick, and you can’t see a doctor because you can’t afford it, and it’s all because you’re out of work, I’d consider unemployment as a biggie.  Then you have to look at what politicians are doing to solve the problem.  If they are doing nothing, get rid of them and vote someone in there that is good at solving problems.  That’s why I will be your next president.  I’m not a politician, I’m a problem solver, and that’s a higher calling than politics.  If you carve away at the bullshit and there’s nothing left when you’re done but the problem, then they aren’t solving a thing.”

Interviewer:  “It sounds like the political system needs fixing.”

Max:  “People should be very wary of a politician who hides behind their political party or labels like conservative or liberal.  By doing that, they have turned off their minds to considering solutions.  All of the whining and complaining in the world never solved a problem, and there is too much of that in Washington.”

Interviewer:  “Max Masterson, I want to thank you for coming on our program, and I hope we can hear much more from you on solutions to the real issues that affect our lives.”

Max:  “You’ll be hearing a lot more from me soon.”